The Language Teacher
05 - 2002
Biracials and Bullying: Preparing Kids for School
Frank E. Daulton
Ryukoku University
Introduction
In Japan, biracial children (i.e. of one Japanese and one non-Japanese parent) may be particularly vulnerable to bullying (ijime). Anecdotal accounts, including those of the Amerasian children of Okinawa (e.g. Maeda, 1998), suggest that bullying against biracials is particularly common. Quantifying this is problematic (e.g. defining bullying, locating biracials) and probably unnecessary. That victims of bullying are usually those seen as different or weak is a given, and Japanese biracials are different in appearance and often weakened by their marginalization in society. As for severity, even a normally harmless taunt--directed towards someone who endures daily, subtle attacks on their self esteem and membership in society--is necessarily more harmful.
Parents of biracials must strive to enable their children to flourish when faced with misunderstanding or even mistreatment. This paper will seek to determine what proactive steps parents may already be taking by summarizing interviews with four international families. The common characteristics of these otherwise diverse families were: their children had yet to enter school, or had recently just begun; and they resided in Niigata prefecture. Their comments revealed their unique situations and outlooks.
Preparing Children Against Bullying
The JALT Bilingual SIG publication Bullying in Japanese Schools: International Perspectives (Gillis-Furutaka, ed., 1999) contains valuable accounts by various families concerning children and bullying. These accounts, considered together with other published research, led Daulton & Seki (2000) to deduce four proactive "strategies" in the TLT article "Bullying and Biracial Children in Japan."1 While these strategies could be applied to any child in a bullying situation, they are particularly crucial for biracials for reasons addressed below. The strategies were: 1) maintaining good communications; 2) encouraging children to "stand up" for themselves; 3) building self esteem; and 4) instilling a strong sense of right and wrong. It was suggested that parents could utilize these strategies at home, in addition to what can later be accomplished through the curriculums and administrations of schools.
For the present paper, the international families were asked questions related to these strategies in a general and non-leading way. To protect anonymity, names are withheld, and the four parents quoted in this paper are given aliases:
Mother | Father | Child(ren) | |
Family 1 | "Helen"--America | Japan | age 4 daughter |
Family 2 | Brazil | "Junichiro"--Japan | age 2 daughter |
Family 3 | Philippines | "Ryusuke"--Japan | age 9 son |
Family 4 | Japan | "Leroy"--America |
age 5 son
|
1. Keeping open the lines of communication
Good communication allows children to feel their parents' love and support. It also raises children's awareness of when they are being bullied, which is not always apparent (Fried & Fried, 1996, p. 2). But good communication requires effort, especially as children tend to feel that confiding with someone about bullying is shameful. Presenting further challenges are the multiple languages (and language backgrounds) present within international families. In the interviews, it was found that while parents appreciate the importance and difficulty of establishing communications over time, approaches differed in connection to the gender of the child involved. Furthermore, it was suggested that intuition can facilitate communication.
Junichiro says, "I want to create a family environment where we can talk about any problem." To encourage this, Junichiro strives to understand the interests and slang of young people. Similarly, the mother, a Japanese-Brazilian, is improving her Japanese ability, as Japanese will be the primary language of their two-year-old daughter.
"Your communication with your child isn't guaranteed," says Helen, an American. "It's something that you have to work on." She notes how Japanese culture and traditional role models discourage communication, especially for male children. Helen explains:
I think, to a certain extent, one of the reasons why ijime is very bad here is because there isn't a lot of openness for communication, especially for boys. I mean, 'Dad' doesn't communicate, so where do you learn it?
Gender effects expectations of communication. Leroy, also an American, says: "I tell [my son], 'Sometimes people are bad and you just have to ignore them.' I'll tell that to [my daughter], but I'll say, 'You have to ignore them, and then you tell Mommy, you tell Daddy.'"
Whether communication seems to flow freely or not at all, parents must employ their intuition. Helen says, "I think parents have to be able to look at their children and [know] when something is bugging them." Helen describes how, tipped off by her intuition, she eventually got her daughter to open up:
[Changing schools] was very stressful for her. But she didn't come out and say it ... She would say, 'I think I'll stay home today' [and I would say,] 'No, no, no. You really have to go. What's the real problem?' So it takes a little bit of questioning, and asking her and letting her know that she can talk about it. And then she will.
Although efforts may fail, these families are bettering their odds by encouraging good communication early on. This is crucial, for if parents take communication for granted, the enduring in silence they overlook does not necessarily mean the children are standing up for themselves.
2. Encouraging children to stand up for themselves
While alternatives to violence must be taught (Fried & Fried, 1996, p. 29), and although retaliation of any kind can escalate the cycle of revenge, children who don't stand up for themselves are most likely to receive further aggression (p. 21). The four families interviewed concurred that it is best for children to resolve conflicts on their own, but ideas diverged regarding when parents should intervene. Moreover, along with some parents' concerns about their children overreacting, there is also a sophisticated awareness of "strength."
Leroy says, "A kid's gotta fight their own battles...and they have to learn to live in society." He has already seen his five-year-old son stand his ground: "[He] was playing catch one day [with boys down the street] and something cranked up. And [he] stood his ground and said he was Japanese and didn't cry and just started stomping his feet, and they let it go."
He will encourage his five-year old son--but not his three-year old daughter--to handle problems on his own. "You run into [their] being a 'crybaby' or being able to stand up...and live their own life."
Helen's similar sentiments extend to her four-year old daughter: "If a parent always steps in, the child only learns to run to an authority figure--and what if one isn't available?" Helen has considered having her daughter learn karate. "I feel she needs the discipline to feel strong as an individual--then, whatever comes, she can deal with it."
Yet parents naturally feel conflicted about leaving their children to fend for themselves, as some situations may be overwhelming. Thus, perceived danger becomes a gauge of when to intervene. Leroy says: "If my kid's in a fight that's above regular kid fighting, I'll take care of it by going to the home. And if I don't get results there, I'll take care of it by going to the kid directly."
However, Junichiro feels that adults must always be involved because children's society is so harsh. He would even report physical bullying to the police. Although such intervening is often felt to encourage victims' weakness, the opposite is possible. A strong reaction from parents sets an example that bullying must not be tolerated. Junichiro says, "If the parents react strongly, then the child is more likely to react strongly."
However, physically fighting back, as a questionable last resort, is not always realistic. Helen points out:
That's fine if you're big. But if you're not a big person, you can get into more trouble. And, also, thinking about punching out somebody is different from actually doing it. Some people aren't able to do that at all.
Helen concludes the best reaction to any attack is a different sort of strength: "There are many ways to be strong. Boys are encouraged to be physically strong. In the case of ijime--that's an emotional issue. The strength you really want to give a child--that's emotional strength."
This would mean, for instance, a child's not being sensitive to ethnic taunts. "You might not be able to [stop the bullying] at all, but you may have a chance to change the reaction of the child."
While the best protection against bullying is, as Junichiro says, "to show and have recognized one's strength," the careful intervention of adults is also crucial. The clear challenge for parents is to reconcile and apply these conflicting ideas.
3. Building self-esteem
Many biracials in Japan have trouble accepting their unique identity--neither Japanese nor foreign (see Yoshida, 1999). Distinguishing physical traits, for instance, present a hardship in conformist Japanese society. Parents strive to encourage self-esteem through their various approaches to "doubleness."
For Leroy, being "double" implies having an additional identity, and that both will coexist equally. Leroy encourages his children to feel both their nationalities and cultures every day. He often asks his children, "Are you American or Japanese today?" Helen, however, de-emphasizes her daughter's duality:
If there is too much split identity--saying, 'I want you to be American; I want you to be Japanese' at the same time--that doesn't translate into a whole identity. It's just a broken person. And those kids are going to be more susceptible to peers.... Psychologically they need that belonging. And here [in Japan] there's that social pressure to belong that makes it even worse.
In three of the four families, it was suggested that children need to be based in one culture, with the second coming later or more peripherally. Helen continues:
Ideally you'd like to see a child become a "world person," but I've always thought that, "She lives here, she needs to be Japanese".... The first thing that she has to do is understand where she's at now, and who she is as a Japanese. And then, it'll be easier for her to make the shift to an international person.... But she can't be an American and live here.
This implies that a child's too strongly expressing a foreign culture--thereby distancing himself from peers--may encourage attacks. Two of the families are establishing their children's primary language as Japanese. Junichiro says of his daughter, "Before becoming an adult, she needs to master one language and one culture." The choice of primary language and culture, he points out, should be based on where the child will live. He fears that doing otherwise will leave the child with incomplete knowledge--another difference over which ijime may occur. Yet not all parents believe complete bilingualism is impossible. While two families focus on Japanese language largely to the exclusion of the other, the families with an American parent were actively teaching English. Leroy jokes that, "Our [second] language resistance is the fact that I insist that they speak English to me."
Ryusuke reports that his Filipino wife "sets a good example" for their son by not hiding from society, but being very active. He moreover believes it's harder to bully a child whose parents are seen at school. Both Helen and Leroy reported being likewise involved in their communities.
Ultimately, Helen's concept of doubleness is not of a doubled identity, but of broader options:
I don't think you can do anything else for a child than just let them know they have options. In the end I hope she finds what she wants and pursues that.... Your gift to them will be a lot of cultural things.... That's enough. And when they grow up, they can investigate whatever else they feel they need to know.
4. Instilling an independent sense of right and wrong
Children need to think for themselves to resist "the seduction of mass psychology" (Fried & Fried, 1996, p. 49). Having a sense of right or wrong allows all children to recognize injustice, helping to prevent them from becoming victims, bullies, or passive observers. Ironically, the sometimes larger size of biracials in Japan presents its own dangers. Parents seem to recognize their children's' situations, and the parental role of building moral foundations.
Peers often matter more than parents. "You have to realize the pressure and the need to conform--to belong somewhere--for mixed kids." Nevertheless, "Parents' input has to always be there ... I think it's important for parents to say 'Hey, this is not acceptable'.... Bullying is not acceptable in my book."
Leroy and Ryusuke understand that encouraging aggressive responses may transform the bullied into a bully. This is Ryusuke's main concern:
I'm more worried about him punching someone and hurting them because they said something bad to him--that's a problem. I want him to learn self-control. Fortunately, he's big enough to defend himself; but he has to be aware of his power.
Ryusuke says he is raising his son's moral sense, including speaking with his son about power and weakness, and taking responsibility for one's actions. He hopes his son's raising animals will teach him "the value of life," and his judo lessons will teach him the pain of being hit and compassion for the pain of others.
Leroy says, "The first phone call we get about bullying is probably that our kid is bullying the other kids." For his family, religion can play an important role: "That's where church comes in.... I hope that what little religious teachings and life style we do in the house...will rub off enough that they will understand that they can't be the instigators of bullying."
Conclusions
The interviews showed the complexity of each family's situation, including parents' differing perceptions concerning gender and "doubleness." Moreover, it was shown that Daulton & Seki's (2000) four "strategies" already exist as goals in many families, about which individual approaches diverge. That is, each family creates its own strategies over time.
Here, the topic of biracial children has been singled out from bullying in general. The authors hope to establish biracial children as a group with additional needs requiring careful attention. The four families who kindly consented to be interviewed have contributed to this effort.
References
Daulton, F., & Seki, A. (2000). Bullying and biracial children in Japan. The Language Teacher, 24(11), 31-34.
Fried S., & Fried P. (1996). Bullies and victims: Helping your child through the schoolyard battlefield. New York: M. Evans and Company.
Gillis-Furutaka, A. (Ed.) (1999). Bullying in Japanese schools: International perspectives. Monographs on bilingualism No. 7. Osaka: Bilingualism Special Interest Group of the Japan Association for Language Teaching.
Maeda T. (1998, September 8). Amerasian kids struggle for identity. The Japan Times, p. 3.
Yoshida K. (1999). Sociocultural and psychological factors in the development of bilingual identity. Bilingual Japan, 8, 5-9. [Available on-line]. www.kagawa-jc.ac.jp/~steve_mc/jaltbsig/bilingual_identity.html Note:1. Daulton and Seki (2000) misidentified some authors and children in Bullying in Japanese Schools: International Perspectives (Gillis-Furutaka, ed., 1999) as being biracial when they were not. Moreover, because of an editorial error, only three of the four strategies actually appeared in TLT.
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